So it’s been 2-ish months since I’ve posted. Sorry about that, I’ve been a little busy with my next cool shit attempt and going to church. In your face! Told ya in that last post I’d go. We have been 3 times so far thank you very much. Well, 4 times if you include the church we stole those coffee mugs from…
Okay, so in truth we have no idea if we stole the coffee mugs. We were very overwhelmed. We were introduced to the pastor, his wife, a small group leader, her husband, another couple, and another family. It was just too much. We were just trying to sneak in the back, feel it out, and get the fuck out of there. Not meet the whole damn staff. But we did, then they offered us cups of coffee. So nice. Promptly thereafter, we saw an opportunity to duck out, took it, turned the corner, looked at each other and realized, ‘Oh shit did they mean we were supposed to put coffee in these and stay awhile?’ So we walked home a little quicker than usual, put the coffee mugs in the back of the cabinet and have not used them once. It feels dirty.
Since the coffee mug dilemma, the mugs have made it to the garage in a box and we found a church we like! Very exciting stuff. And perfect timing since the whole fam is coming in town from Texas next week and staying with us in our box of a home. I cannot wait to see my momma.
New cool shit attempt: We moved to Huntington Beach! Drew has started with a new company and likes it much better than his previous gig. I am starting to teach cycling again, I am working for a fitness apparel company, and I’m tutoring once or twice a week. We live in a box of a home with a badass deck a couple blocks from the beach. It’s wonderful. I want to be outside all 24 hours of the day. We live with the windows and doors open – what else could I ask for right?
I realize I went right back to my ‘well rounded’ bullshit with three jobs. Yes, I’m happy here. Much happier than the boring last place we were. But again, here’s my undying unanswered question – do I feel fulfillment? I have work-life balance and it’s great, but then again it feels empty.
It’s kind of ironic actually. The reason I wanted the fitness apparel job was for the opportunity to go to work and leave without any emotion. Although, that’s why I don’t love it. Drew knows exactly what he wants to do with his life. I have no idea what I want to do with mine. Why on earth does he want to be with me? When I admitted to him that I was writing this (insert noun of what this is here), he told me good for me as he continued cleaning the dishes. This is code for, I support whatever you do even though it’s something new every week. He’s great. Also, I had just made a bomb dinner and had a little wine so the situation was skewed.
The conversation about me doing ‘this thing’ continued into a debate about opportunities. I posed the question that this ‘thing’ is centered around: What is the point? Is there one or an infinite amount? I heard once that if you run out of opportunities in your life that means you stopped taking chances or stopped saying yes. I have the overwhelming need to say yes to every opportunity in order to not miss out. And I also currently feel like I’m waiting for the next thing to say yes to.
I also heard once that the opportunities in a person’s life is unique to their life. Maybe one opportunity leads to the next. Or maybe you are supposed to exhaust an opportunity before you jump.
Does that make anyone feel like they are in the Hungry, Hungry Hippo game? I want to gobble up everything and store it away, but there’s too many and it’s impossible to win. Also, who am I playing against? Is there an enemy? Anyone else feel like the enemy is occasionally themselves?